What Is An Off-Premise Swingers Club?

What If You Run Into Someone You Know?

First Dance Primer For New Couples

New Couple Orientation Notes

What Do You Wear To a Club Dance?
Firstly, wear whatever you feel comfortable wearing. If you prefer getting dressed up to go out, that's great. If you're into a casual look, that's fine too. No matter what you select you won't feel out of place.
Secondly, many of our dances have a particular theme to them. On those occasions it's recommended that you wear something in keeping with the theme. Although it's never compulsory, you'll find you have a lot more fun when you do. It gives you an instant "in" with everybody else which makes for easy conversation. You'll also find that whatever the theme, some of the ladies choose to wear lingerie to the club (or change into lingerie later in the evening), which is always an acceptable alternative. The idea is to be comfortable and have fun!
Lastly, for those of you with an exhibitionistic streak, yes we permit and encourage you to wear something raunchy and provocative.

What is an Off-Premise Swingers Club?
Very simply, an off-premise swingers club is a club where sexual activity takes place off of the premises. It logically follows that an on-premise swingers club is where sexual activity takes place on the premises. Club Eros is an off-premise club, as are the overwhelming majority of swingers clubs throughout North America. However even among off premise clubs, there is a spectrum of what is allowed and what is not. Club Eros is a very liberal off-premise club.

What If Your Run Into Someone You Know?
Running into someone you know is one of the biggest worries many people have BEFORE they come out out their first club event. Afterwards it becomes less of an issue as you quickly see that everyone is there for the same reasons and as a result
A) there are no "repercussions" within our lifestyle and
B) no else is going to spill the beans to outsiders about seeing you there because they are equally concerned about their own discretion too!

This becomes even more apparent after you do in fact meet someone at the club whom you know, because both your and their first reaction is always "I never would have expected to see you here!". Consider the initial anxiety of one of our member coupes who ran into their daughter at the club! Now 4 years later all is well as both the parents and the daughter and her husband are happy, active club members (although they do have firm rules about not going to the same parties!<G>)

The reality is: although many people often run into others they know from the outside world at swing club events, it virtually never proves to be an issue, and often they become new closer friends as a result.

Congratulations! You’ve decided to explore the swinging lifestyle and we are very happy to welcome you to our club. Whether you are a new member here for your first visit, or a guest checking things out for the first time, you may be a bit unsure of what’s likely to happen from here on in. As excited as you are, you’re probably also a little nervous and apprehensive about how you should conduct yourselves. Let us give you a word of advice: RELAX! You’re here to enjoy yourselves and we are going to help you do just that.

CHECK IT OUT: After you have checked in, take advantage of your first few moments to wander around and familiarize yourself with your surroundings. On the far south side of the room is the DJ booth and dance floor, which is also the forum used for our contests and shows. Centrally located in the room is the large stand-up bar. This is perhaps the focal point for meeting new people, and it is also usually the most crowded area of the club. As we intentionally have no waiters or waitresses, everyone ends up at the bar over the course of the evening, and it is the easiest place to begin new conversations or to join in with others. The tables scattered through the raised area surrounding the bar, are a spot to get away with new friends that you meet, so that you can have more intimate one-on-one conversations. Our advice is, if you are new, elect not to sit at a table by yourselves as this gives the appearance of wanting to be left alone: instead, start right out in the bar area, as after all — that’s where the action is! You’ll find everyone very friendly and conversations are so easy to fall into it will seem perfectly natural for you to fit in.

BE YOURSELVES: You will meet other couples, so do not hesitate to introduce yourselves. Making friends is the key to good swinging, and who knows that nice couple you just said hello to may turn out to be your first swinging encounter. Some of the regulars will introduce themselves, and some of the other couples they know. This should certainly make you feel at home. You will get the most out of this alternative lifestyle if you just use your common sense and remember that the good manners that you have acquired and use in any social situation, also apply in swinging.

HOST COUPLES: By now you have likely had a chance to meet the club directors, Ron & Wendy, who are here each evening, or one of the many host couples who rotate this role. If not, please make a point to do so. They are easily identified by the red “Host/Hostess” ribbon on their nametags. You will find them very approachable as well as friendly, helpful and easy to converse with. Please feel free to ask questions or consult them on any problem you may be having with getting started in the lifestyle. They are here to offer few simple hints to help you make this party a very positive experience & to make it as easy as possible to meet new friends.

OPEN CONVERSATIONS: The easiest way to make sure that you have a chance to talk with the people you would like to meet is to open the conversation yourself. Sure they may eventually walk over and introduce themselves, on the other hand they may not. Why take the chance? A very simple but effective opening is: “Hi! We’re new here.” You’ll also find that once you meet one couple, you’ll easily meet other couples who they know and will introduce you to.

BE HONEST: If this is your first swinging experience, say so & that you may have unexpected anxieties about seeing your mate with another. It’s important to be honest with both your new friends and especially with your partner and make your anxieties known. Perhaps you will be more comfortable if you talk with a more experienced couple, willing to share with you how they handled their first swinging encounter. You may be surprised at how similar their worries were & as a result benefit from their experience. Of course we don’t mean to imply that you will necessarily have problems. But if you should, we know that open communication is the only real means to solve them.

SWINGING ETIQUETTE: Please do not be pushy! Many couples new to swinging are often very well prepared for the fun, but poorly equipped to handle the rejections that may sometimes come their way. Remember that Freedom of Choice is every individuals right in swinging, and respecting that right is only common courtesy. Learn how to handle a “No Thank You” graciously. Remember that the same courtesy also applies to you. In other words, you needn’t fear someone coming on faster or stronger than you are ready for, as a simple “No Thank You” from you works just as easily.
You and your mate should also discuss in advance your particular method of swinging: if you will swing alone or together, open or closed. You may have other personal restrictions or desires that you would like to have honoured. Similarly you may wish to plan for a swinging encounter later that evening, or you may prefer to meet again later that week. Only you can decide these issues for yourselves, but please do so before you start swinging. And don’t forget to communicate them to your new friends before you head off home together. It’s easier to make sure that you are all on the same wavelength before you head home together.
Remember also that at our club or any other, we expect participants to conduct themselves with dignity. Our club is not the place to settle a difference of opinion with your spouse or anyone else for that matter. Creating a scene in public is never acceptable.

ARE YOU SHY? Making new friends takes courage & some effort on your part. It may make it easier on you if you remember that you do not have to swing with everyone you meet, talk to or dance with. You’ll meet a lot of people at our club, it’s up to you both to decide later who and when you’ll get together with sexually. Nor is the purpose of swinging to set records for sexual stamina. Swingers most often establish solid friendships which continue and grow long after the party is over. The best swinging encounters start with good verbal communications. Do not be in a hurry, and don’t let others rush you. Take time to find out about the other couple’s desires and interest. Don’t be afraid to let them know your fantasies. Keeping your conversation open and uninhibited will allow you that same freedom in exploring those fantasies later. Feel free to talk to anyone about anything.

SEEING IS BELIEVING: As you look around the room, you will see that others in the lifestyle are very much like yourselves. Many newcomers to this lifestyle have read or heard all sorts of distorted fiction on what swingers are like and what the lifestyle is. The fact is that swingers are just ordinary people with normal sexual desires like yourselves. If anything makes us different it is only that we want to form friendships that go a little bit further to include the warmth of sexual expression.

NUDITY ETIQUETTE: For those of you who attend nudist resorts this item will not be of any news. However we raise it for those of you who are  unfamiliar with this basic bit of "nudity etiquette" & hygiene. Whenever you find that you "lose" some or all of your wardrobe, and you are sitting on a chair, couch or whatever, it is expected that you will slip something between your tush and the upholstery. Most seasoned nudists carry a small towel for exactly this purpose, (most strippers do as well). You'll also find this is common etiquette when working out in a gym.
As it's not uncommon for clothing to go astray at the club, we suggest that you bring a small towel with you when and if you think you are inclined to bare your buns. This issue has cropped up before, but is even more relevant now with the new couches we have added. (Some people also simply fold their clothes and sit on those) We will also get some "tushie towels" and make them available for you at a cost of $5 (the towels will be yours to keep) for those occasions when you aren't prepared, and find your clothes start disappearing! It’s all about consideration and respect for those who will be sitting on the furniture after you.
I should also add here (for newbies) that our club isn't a nudist resort and you won't be in a room full of naked people. However, it isn't unusual to see a couple of people (or more!) lose some or all of their clothes for a while over the course of an evening (especially near the end!). It's all part of the fun

MEMBERSHIPS: Ours is a private members club. If you are visiting us as an invited guest and would like to return, you would be expected to take out a membership. This ensures that all the couples you meet at the club have a similar outlook to your own. This also affords us and our members an extremely important added level of legal protection over clubs which may not enforce a strict members only policy. (In fact, clubs which do not strictly enforce a firm membership policy place you at real risk of legal consequences!)

NAMETAGS: To help denote membership status, nametags are coded in the following format: members have white tags, while invited guests have shaded tags. We also honour memberships from other affiliated NASCA clubs, and when their members visit with us, they are issued blue tags. A "lipstick kiss" on a nametag denotes a couple new to the lifestyle (we lovingly refer to you as virgins!), who would appreciate an extra special welcome.

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: We really would like your feedback and comments. It’s nice to know that you have had a good time and enjoyed the club. We would also like to know when you have suggestions, comments, criticisms or opinions to offer us. Most especially we would like to hear from you if you encounter problems or situations which you feel you cannot handle. We don’t guarantee to have ready-made answers for you, although sometimes we may. We can however offer our perspective based on many years of experience in the lifestyle.

GOOD LUCK and we hope you find that special couple.

SWINGING DEFINED: "Engagement in sexual activity with someone other than one's spouse/primary partner, with the full knowledge and consent of that spouse/primary partner"(Friend,Pearlmutter,McGinley 1989), and "recreational social-sexual sharing among couples"(McGinley 1980) also"socio-sexual activity among three or more people wherein at least two of the participants are pair bonded" (Michaels 1990). In practical terms this translates into married couples, and couples in committed and casual relationships engaging in social-sexual activity with other couples outside their relationship. It is very different from cheating, however, because everyone involved are mutual participants, free of guilt, dishonesty, and deceit. In other words, a couple in a relationship has openly discussed and agreed that such social-sexual interaction is OK.

THREESOMES - Though technically not a function of the SWING lifestyle, threesomes have bridged the gap between new couples just starting out and the SWING Lifestyle. Many couples that enter the lifestyle start out with a threesome. A lot of couples will continue with threesomes long after they have fully integrated themselves in the Lifestyle. Three people, two of one gender and one of another. In this situation, all three people may interact with each other (as is common when the threesome is two women and one man), or, two of the people, usually of the same gender, may be interacting only with the third (as is common when the threesome is two men and one woman).

COUPLE TO COUPLE - This is the heart and soul of the Swing Lifestyle. One couple pairing up with another. After an exchange of partners, the participants usually (but not always) engage in social-sexual activity within close proximity of each other, that is, within the same room or on the same bed (this is commonly refered to as open swinging, when partners exchange and head to separate space or rooms, this is referred to as closed swinging, which is also an acceptable style in the swinging world.). Frequently, these couples in open swinging situations may interact in such a way that the foursome activities are more similar to group sex, with all involved participating together.

GROUPS (ORGIES) - This activity is an encounter with four or more people in the same sexual interaction. It may be two couples as described earlier, or, any gender and relationship configuration involving both sexes of four or more people.

BISEXUALITY - People of the same gender, sexually interacting. This is fairly common among women (about 85%) - although, NOT ALL women by any means. Bisexuality among men is extremely rare in the swinging lifestyle and is usually frowned upon in most reputable clubs.

VOYEURISM - Watching others involved in sexual activity. This activity is usually welcome in open group party areas, but not in private areas.

OTHER CULTURES - English culture (spanking), bondage, sado/masochism and water sports (urination) are very uncommon and generally shunned at most swing parties.

Swinging is a social activity. Whether attending a party, meeting with another couple privately, or engaging with a single person for a threesome, the participants talk with one another, eat, drink and laugh - all with the purpose of becoming acquainted in order to sexually enjoy one another. Sexual activity may or may not follow however. Many swingers have swinging friends they have known for months, even years, that they have not been sexually involved with. Private clubs and party houses offer a place to gather to swing. The environment is meant to be one of social warmth and belonging. It is pleasurable to meet new people, friends, and acquaintances at a party. Pleasant memories come from lounging, perhaps partially dressed or nude, in a group around the fireplace; talking, listening to music, laughing and warming up to another. This may happen in a hot tub, jacuzzi or pool as well. When these social experiences are complimented by enjoyable sexual experience, the appeal of swinging is understood.

Though some couples who swing have open marriages and have swinging dates apart, the majority of couples do not date separately. They see swinging as an activity/lifestyle to enjoy together, as a part of their relationship.

OFF PREMISE : No space is provided for engaging in sexual activity. In other words, those who wish to go further than strictly social interaction must find someplace else to do so. This is the most common type of swing clubs.

LIBERAL OFF PREMISE:  These are off-premise clubs which do not have full on-premise swinging facilities, but which permit and often encourage some level of sexual interaction.

ON PREMISE : Space is provided for those who wish to go further than strictly social interaction and engagement in sexual activity is appropriate.

NUDITY AND DRESS The common attire at an off-premise activity is dressy, often sexy. The common attire for an on-premise swing party may be dress or casual, but with the expectation of partial or full nudity. It is common for participants to take lingerie, a robe, or other slip-on attire to the party.

As in any social activity, there are expected rules of conduct in swinging. Following the rules is an effective way to make yourself welcome within the swinging community.
 

• 1) ARRIVE ON TIME. It isn't fashionable to arrive late to a swing party.

• 2) ARRIVE AS A COUPLE AND LEAVE AS A COUPLE WHEN ATTENDING A SWING DANCE OR PARTY. It is frowned upon by most hosts and other swingers when a partner, usually the woman, departs, leaving her mate at the party as a single.

• 3) ATTRACTIVE BUT CASUAL PARTY CLOTHES are usually best. If you're attending an on-premise party, take a robe, negligee or other slip-on. You may find it more comfortable as the evening continues. Keep money, jewelry, and other valuables at a minimum. If they are lost, it's a problem for you, and an embarrassment to your hosts.

• 4) CLEANLINESS AND GOOD GROOMING is essential for swinging participants. Be aware of your body and take care of it. Be especially aware of any repugnant body odor you may develop due to the rather physical nature of these activities. Even a kiss can be repulsive if delivered on a breath heavy with the taste of cigarettes or liquor.

• 5) A GOOD MENTAL ATTITUDE AND EMOTIONAL HEALTH will make you popular in the swinging community. No one appreciates the negative person with nothing good to say about the party, other persons, or swinging. The man or woman with the smile, ready laugh and obvious interest in others is the person others like to be around.

• 6) EVERYONE HAS THE RIGHT OF REFUSAL. You shouldn't swing with a person unless you want to, and they don't have to swing with you. Be honest with your feelings and desires, and expect others to do the same. Only ask those you want to say "yes". If they say "no", take it graciously and don't try to coax, pressure, or persuade them to change their mind. When you say "yes" to others, be honest and enthusiastic. When you say "no", be tactful and courteous. But don't say, "maybe later", when you really mean "no".

• 7) DON'T TAKE A "TICKET" TO A SWING PARTY. A ticket is someone who has no intention of swinging but is willing to go along to get someone else in. No one must swing at a party, of course, but if one person swings, it is expected that the other is willing and free to do the same.

• 8) DON'T TAKE SOMEONE TO A SWING PARTY WHO IS NOT FULLY INFORMED as to the nature of the party and their expected behavior.

• 9) DON'T DISTURB THE SWINGING ENJOYMENT OF OTHERS in a bedroom or other swing area with loud or prolonged talk.

• 10) THE GROUP ROOM IS FOR GROUP SWINGING. If you want privacy, don't go to the group room. If you take your partner or any other person to the group room to swing, you can expect others to ask to join you and your partner. (The right of refusal always applies, of course. Swinging in the group room doesn't automatically give others the right to join you).

• 11) CLUB SWING PARTIES HAVE PARTY DUES OR DONATIONS. It is your responsibility to present it upon being checked in for a party. Don't make the hosts remind you.

• 12) DON'T BE A BEDROOM "CRUISER". Looking into bedrooms, pulling back curtains, turning on lights and going into private swing areas as a stag to see if you can get involved in something, are major breaches of swinging etiquette. If you become known for such behavior, you may find that swing party invitations become few and far between.

• 13) ILLEGAL SUBSTANCES, INCLUDING MARIJUANA, ARE PROHIBITED at responsible swing clubs and private parties. Swinging is its own pleasure, don't dilute it and don't subject yourself and others to legal problems. Going in and out of the party or dance to your car will be suspect. Don't do it.

• 14) IF A PARTY IS BYOB (BRING YOUR OWN BOTTLE), ONLY DRINK WHAT YOU BRING. Never help yourself to what others have brought without their permission. This is another of the much violated rules of swinging etiquette, and one that causes anger among the party guests.

• 15) TELL THE HOSTS if another guest causes a problem, won't take "no" for an answer, or is objectionable in any real way. They sincerely want to know so they can correct the problem. Keeping problems and bad feelings to yourself only contributes tension to the situation.

• 16) IF YOU LIKE A CLUB OR PARTY, SAY SO. IF IT JUST ISN'T YOUR THING, LEAVE. to speak despairingly of a party to the other guests is simply poor manners.

Couples new to swinging may be at a loss as to how to fit in, and may be nervous as well. This is common and quite natural. It is the responsibility of the club, hosts, or the person or couple bringing the new couple to acquaint them with the structure of the party. They should also introduce them to others and help them to become involved in conversation. Beyond this, the responsibility for fitting into and enjoying the party is the new couple's.

SUGGESTIONS FOR NEW COUPLES
 

• A.)  Stay together until you feel comfortable about being apart, but don't cling to one another as it will work to prevent others from approaching you.

• B.)  If there is general disrobing or theme concept, slip into a robe, negligee or go with the theme yourself. Though you may remain fully clothed and be accepted, changing into something more revealing will help you to become involved. It serves to make you more accessible physically and socially.

• C.)  Be open with each other about your feelings. Do not allow yourself to harbor feelings of inadequacy, jealousy or other uncomfortable feelings. Do not berate your partner.

• D.)  Don't be reluctant to ask questions of other guests. Swingers are interested in new people and are generally eager to answer questions about swinging.

• E.)  If there is a hot tub or jacuzzi, use it. Being nude in comfortably hot water in close proximity to others is conducive to making friends and becoming involved.

• F.) . Leave your inhibitions at home. Sexual and social inhibitions will most likely interfere with your swinging pleasure. Leave them home or park them at the front door (so to speak) as you enter the party - you can pick them up again (if you want them) when the party is over and you have had a good time. You can't expect to get much out of a swing party if you're unwilling to put much into it.

• G.)  Be responsible, friendly and good natured. Don't act or pretend - just be yourself. A smile invites social experience; a frown repels.

Many men who swing have vasectomies, but the overall responsibility for birth control generally falls on the woman (just like in the real world!). She should discuss the best method of birth control with her doctor, and be responsible for using it when swinging. Do not be reluctant to ask a man to use a condom if that is your choice - for what ever reason.

Sexually transmitted diseases (STD) are uncommon among swingers. In fact, many couples confine their outside sexual recreation to club swing parties for this reason alone. Classis STD's are generally easily diagnosed and cured. If you suspect that you have had an STD contact you should seek medical attention. The local health department is usually the best bet. It is nothing to be ashamed of or fear. AIDS, very much in the news the past couple of years, is difficult to contract. It is very rare (some would even go so far as to say virtually non-existant) in the swinging community. Primary methods of transmitting the AIDS virus are sharing needles in drug use and intercourse, especially anal, with a man who shares needles or practices receptive anal intercourse with other men. If neither of these categories fits, you are extremely unlikely to get AIDS through swinging.

You'll find that concern about STD's is pretty much universal throughout the lifestyle. Collectively as a group you'll find that swingers have a much higher awareness of sexuality issues than your average person. This extends to encompass disease control issues. They are aware of the risks involved and the precautions available. You'll find that disease prevention is an open topic of conversation and often an integral part of the "getting to know each other" process before couples do decide to go home together. You'll also find that different couples define their own "comfort zones" of what they will or will not do and when getting together with a new couple for the first time. Making sure those comfort zones match is one important facet of the whole process.

As for tests results, you'll find that virtually all couples in the lifestyle get regular tests ... BUT ... this is for their own piece of mind. No one at any time should rely on anyone else's test results. Period. Firstly it is extermely uncommon for anyone to get written results (you generally get your results verbaly from your health practitioner - doctor, clininc etc), and even if they do issue a written confirmation, it is outdated before it is even issued. Relying on someone else's negative result from weeks or even months ago could influence you to lower your own standards without taking into account any conceivable  infections your partner could have aquired since the test result, not to mention latent incubation periods.

Very simply, you need to set your own acceptable standards for protection and stick to them regardless. That is far safer and more prudent than relying on any sort of arbitrary screening policy. So in a nutshell that's why as a club we don't have a test requirement. While they are very useful for individuals to monitor their own health status, they are pretty much meaningless (and potentially dangerous) to rely on for others.

Swinging can be every bit as erotic, exciting and fulfilling as you imagine it to be. You can explore many of your favorite fantasies - safely. You can engage in private, intimate sexual activity, share your mate in a threesome, enjoy another couple, or engage in group swinging - all in one evening!! You can make new friends and meet interesting people. Swinging also has the potential of greatly enhancing your primary relationship and personal life.

Swinging is not for everyone however. A positive feeling about yourself, your mate, and primary relationship is important. People who are jealous, play social games, have a poor opinion of the opposite sex, or have relationship problems are among those who are not likely to enjoy swinging.

Do You Have a Question?
If you have a question on our club or our lifestyle drop us a note in email (or via phone, fax or snailmail) and we'll be happy to answer it for you and add it to this page of FAQ's.